Monday, February 2, 2009

It Hurts...

Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts? I though I knew love but until I had my babies I had no idea what true love was. I would do anything for my little monsters, even die.

On Wednesday C will have his Cochlear implant surgery and I am very excited at the prospect of him hearing one day but I am scared to death that something will go wrong and I will loose him. Is his hearing worth the risk? I am probably being silly and just overly emotional but I can't help to think, "What would I do if I lost him"?

C has always been my fighter, at birth out of the three he was the sickest. While still in the womb his placenta ruptured and after birth he had breathing issues due to breathing in amino fluid and blood. He was put on a ventilator for over a week and a half, and when C was about a week old we were told to prepare ourselves, due to an increase in toxins in his body it was becoming a possibility that he may have terminal liver disease. His toxin levels were so high he was actually green. Later we learned it wasn't liver disease but because his birth was so rough his liver just wasn't working fast enough and he had a lot of extra "slug" in his body.

Today, even with the hearing loss he is just as healthy as the other two. I don't know what time on Wednesday his surgery is but if you will say a special prayer for him I would greatly appreciate it.


C on the Vent in the NICU










Daddy Holding C's Passie





Even being over a month old C still had a green tone to his skin.


















C With His Hearing Aids


















Yesterday


















Much Love,

Tanna

8 comments:

leahlefler said...

I will say a little prayer on this end that everything goes smoothly for that cute little guy! Love the mohawk pic- he is too cute!

Jennifer said...

Tanna,
It's so scary, I know. But he will be fine and do amazing. I had all the same thoughts you are having now. Just try and stay focused on the goal. Picture in your mind the first time he says "mama or I love you". You will know how right your decision is at that moment. I will be praying for Colton and waiting for you to update when you can. If you need anything please do not hesitate to contact me.

Much Love,

Jennifer, Ciaran, Colin and Cormac.

Sarah said...

I understand all to well the fear of having your little one undergo surgery. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts.

Jaime said...

Colton is so precious and I will definitely send prayers his way. What a wonderful gift it will be when he can have much improved hearing!

Newmanville said...

You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sure everything will go so smoothly and be just fine. Colton is such a little fighter. He's an inspiration!

Kristi said...

I know surgery is scary, but I think he will do amazing, and soon he'll be able to hear! Just try to think of the positives and not all the scary stuff.

I'll say a little prayer for Colton tonight!

P.S. Love the pics, he is toooo cute!

Lucas'Mommy said...

What a beautiful boy! We will be praying on Wednesday! Your baby is going to hear soon! How exciting!

Meluch+3 said...

I'll be thinking about you guys tomorrow. I hope everything goes well and try not to worry too much.

Mel